How I dominate my boyfriends penis with my hands

Updated: 16/08/2023

As simple as they are one of my boyfriend’s favorite things are handjobs, they are quick, easy, and can be incredibly satisfying if done properly.

This article is all about my guide to handjobs, how I dominate his penis (more formally known as hand domination), and how I make him lose his mind at one of the simplest sex acts.

There’s nothing better than a wet, sloppy, firm handjob and if you follow my steps your old-fashioned handjobs will be a thing of the past and your next handjob will blow his mind and his load.

Update: Before you read on I just want to tell you about my members-only area, reserved for those looking for uncensored, filthy erotic stories.

The Base of a Mind-Blowing Handjob


Before I explain the intense stuff we need to go back to basics and ensure the basics are perfect. Handjobs are simple but there still are things you can do to make them even better and for that, we need to start from the beginning and make them just as exciting as any other sex act.

  • Where, When & How?

Spontaneity is fun but it’s also fun if you become dominant and tell your boyfriend exactly what he needs to do. Text him or just tell him straight to his face:

I want you in…

Your room, living room, kitchen

In 5 minutes, naked on the bed.

He may hesitate at first but let him know you’re serious, if he’s not there he will miss out on possibly the best handjob of his life. A bold claim but one that has never been truer. I want you to switch on that serious face, and think about his penis as your plaything that you want to make feel like a million dollars, you want to hand dominate his cock and the only way you can do that is by him taking you seriously and knowing this handjob is going to blow his mind.

  • The Explosive Orgasm Position

Order him around and make him get into the position you think is best, not only is this incredibly sexy and a turn-on for him but it also means he’s in the correct position for you to be as comfortable as possible, and the position that will feel the best for him.

The two best positions for a hand job are:

Laying down on a bed: This is my boyfriend’s favorite handjob position, it allows you to touch his body, and have access to him and it gives you the added bonus of being able to restrain him if you wish because, after all, we want this to be the best handjob ever.

In this position, you can lay next to him, sit next to him, straddle him, and dominate his penis with ease. I recommend getting your boyfriend in this position, it’s definitely the best.

Sitting on a chair/sofa: Sitting on a chair or sitting on the sofa is a much more casual way to give a handjob and let’s be honest, where it usually happens. In this position, you can keep it casual, get his c**k out without taking off his trousers, give him oral, you can whisper dirty things to him and you can usually keep the TV on for that sweet background noise.

Whilst this position is great for a more spontaneous, relaxed handjob, I would still prefer the laying down handjob as I want things to get messy.

Examples of dirty things to whisper:

– ‘I want to touch your hard cock’ – ‘I want to make you cum so hard’ – ‘You make me so wet’

  • Make His Member Dripping Wet

This step is VERY IMPORTANT, it can take a handjob from a 7 out of 10 to a solid 10 out of 10.

Lube unlocks hand movements that will make him shiver, stop friction, and makes full penis stimulation easy. It feels incredible for him when his cock is wet, you can either use the delicious flavored lube or use your own saliva by giving him a blowjob and then continuing with your handjob.

  • Grab His C**K Like You Own It

Treat his penis like your toy, don’t do what you usually do. Take his penis and hold it, look at it, lick it, flop it around, gently pump up and down but don’t commit to it. Treat his penis as if it’s yours, lube it up, give him some oral, and then come back up and hold it again. Tease him and drive him wild with anticipation.

When stroking his dick, change up your technique and watch and see what he responds to, try out these different techniques and see what he likes:

  • hard grip
  • fast
  • slow
  • focus on the tip
  • focus on everything

Also, ask him to show you what he likes, when he’s showing you with his cock, tell him how much you’re turning him on.

  • Lick, Suck & Touch His Balls

Start with light touches, rub your fingers over them, then grab them firmly, lightly squeeze, and caress, if you want to blow his mind, lick and suck while you thrust your hand up and down his c**k.

Warning: some guys don’t like ball play

Ask your boyfriend beforehand if it’s something he likes or would like to try because if he does like it, the extra stimulation will blow his mind.

  • Hold A Vibrator Against His Balls & Perineum

Girls aren’t the only ones who love vibrators, me and my boyfriend use a vibrator on him quite often. I hold my massage wand vibrator against the base of his cock and on the lowest settings run it over his balls and perineum.

It gives your boyfriend extra stimulation and feels incredible mixed with the lube, handjob techniques, and ball play. Also here you can try out some vibrating anal beads (My boyfriend’s favorite anal beads), it will make him cum like never before whilst you give him a handjob.

  • F**k him with a Fleshlight

I told you this article was going to take normal handjobs to a whole new level and using a Fleshlight is a great way to do this.

These are my boyfriend’s favorite porn star sex toys, they are modeled on the vaginas and butts of real-life porn stars. I choose his favorite, lube it up and when I am good and ready I will thrust the fleshlight onto him, watching his face is thrilling and really turns me on.

He also has some other male sex toys that he loves using during handjobs and blowjobs, so check them out if you want to learn how to take handjobs/blowjobs to an even greater level.

  • Whisper Dirty S**t To Him

Whilst you’re giving him the handjob, whisper things in his ear that will turn him on and make him feel incredible.

-Tell him what you’re doing to him using trigger words like cock, cum, horny, and wet.

-Explain how when you’re touching him it makes you feel horny and wet.

-Tell him what you want to do to him, how much you want to see him cum, and how good you want to make him feel.

-Being enthusiastic and showing him how much you crave his cock will make him horny and make the stimulation feel so much better.

  • Give Him Orders

– Order him around, dominate his penis and him. Check out my BDSM guide and learn how to do this in the comfort of your own home.

– Don’t allow him to cum until you say so, you can also set a timer and tell him he can only cum when the time hits a certain point. It will make him so desperate and leave him moaning in pleasure, plus his orgasm will feel amazing.

– If he dares to make a noise, even the slightest moan, stop doing what you’re doing and order him around. If he makes a noise just stop touching him, it’s so kinky and BDSM inspired. Dominate him into submission.

  • Use Him As Your Play Toy

Hand domination is all about getting what you want and if you want to play with him for as long as you want, you can.

Fuck him when you want, he is your toy after all.

Suck him when you want and don’t stop until you’re happy.

Stop giving him a hand job when you want and make him beg for you to start again, I mean really beg. It’s thrilling and such a huge turn-on.

Treat him like he’s your plaything and you will use him as you please, be authoritative, and serious, and follow up on your threats.

  • Let him explore and see your body

He thinks you’re hot as f**k if he’s with you he thinks it, all guys do. He wants to see you being confident, showing your body off, and guiding his hands to your naughtiest spots while you pleasure him.

Let him touch your boobs, ass, or even butt whilst you give him a handjob, it will feel great for you to be wanted so much and it will get him off.

  • Let Him Cum On You!

Trust me, let him cum over your boobs, butt, back, or face. You don’t have to do this but telling him midway through the handjob that he can cum wherever he wants will get him excited and speed up that orgasm.

Tools You Can Use For The Perfect Handjob

handjob advice

This is my favorite bit of this article, getting to talk about all of the little essentials that make handjobs marginally better.

  • The Sweetest Sexual Lubrication Money Can Buy

I mentioned at the start of this article how important lube was to give the best handjob and I wasn’t joking. It makes handjobs so much better, it stops friction, mimics the sensations of real sex, and vamps up the sensations to thrilling new levels.

This is my absolute favorite lube, I always recommend it. It can be used with sex toys (as it’s water-based), anally, vaginally, and orally. It has no nasty hidden ingredients and is just an overall wonderful silky smooth product.

  • A Vibrator That Will Blow Both Your Minds

Vibrators can be used for both men and women, they are of course incredible on the clit but this massage wand vibrator can do wonders for both partners.

Hold the wand vibrator against his perineum, cock, and balls and thrill him with new sensations and then, of course, enjoy the thrilling and intense vibrations against your clitoris. This vibrator will make you cum time and time again, it’s just incredible.

The wand vibrator also doubles as a massager

  • Gorgeous Lingerie (Get his heart racing and his blood pumping)

I wrote an article recently about the best BDSM lingerie and I realized from writing, that all of my readers are seriously kinky individuals who love dressing up.

It may just be a handjob but we want this to be the best handjob ever and to do that I like to dress up and you should too.

– Latex (if you let him cum on you, it wipes right off): This is my favorite latex lingerie set, it’s so sensual, it makes me feel good and it’s seriously kinky when I am trying to bring out my inner dominatrix.

– Lingerie: This is my other favorite lingerie set, it’s so beautiful and makes me feel so good about myself. It also turns my boyfriend on so much seeing me in it.

  • The Toy That Gave My Boyfriend His Biggest Orgasm

Because we are making this the best handjob ever we can feel free to use sex toys, like the wand vibrator I mentioned earlier on. However, there is something else that we like to use that gives my boyfriend incredible stimulation and gave him one of the best orgasms of his entire life.

Read this article about when my boyfriend used a prostate massager and see how much it made him cum and good it made him feel. However, if you don’t have the time to read it, this is the prostate massager he used.

When the handjob is going a particularly kinky way I like to lube up that prostate massager and insert it into him when he’s getting off, the vibrations always send him over the edge and if I then withhold him from climaxing and order him to be quiet, it turns into something so thrilling and filled with pleasure.

The desperation in my boyfriend’s eyes when I am using this sex toy on him and not allowing him to cum makes me so horny and often after he has cum I can’t keep my hands off of him.

The Time I Ruined My Boyfriends Orgasm On Purpose 

ruined orgasm

I know this sounds harsh maybe even out of the question for some of you but hear me out. I didn’t know about this either until I read up on the term ‘hand domination’ It basically means a woman who ruins the male orgasm and forces him to keep on climaxing via a handjob, It’s total control of the penis.

He had been using his penis pump for a few months and seeing his new rock-hard co** made me so horny and I wanted to try something new.

I read up on it and decided it was time I tried it out, I briefed my boyfriend beforehand but I only really told him that I was in control now and I decided when the orgasms stopped.

I put on my latex lingerie set, had my boyfriend lay on our bed, gave him oral, applied lube, I teased him with our wand vibrator, and made sure he was on a constant brink of orgasm.

Making sure I kept the same speed, I teased the tip of his penis with my mouth and eventually allowed him to cum, although I wasn’t finished.

He came hard and everywhere and told me to stop, but I wouldn’t. He gripped the sheets with his hands and smiled but I could tell the sensations were overriding him. He didn’t like the sensations and this made me so wet, it ruined his orgasm because I just kept on going.

I kept on pumping away and after a minute or two, he came again, hard. He was exhausted and in a sensation of total calm, except again I didn’t stop. I knew his penis was overly sensitive but I kept telling him that we stop when I wanted to stop which turned him on so much.

I kept my pace and although he wriggled, squirmed, and gasped, he came again. This time I did stop and told him I only stopped because I wanted to.

It was such a sensual moment, he was so thrilled and exhausted at the same time. He said the constant wan***ng was tough and actually felt quite uncomfortable until he came but the orgasms that followed were unearthly.

Q & A About Hand Domination

hand domination

I have a fantasy about ruining my boyfriend’s orgasm just as he cums, how can I get him to try it?

Just talk to him about it and tell him that you have heard it feels amazing once you do eventually cum. Let him in on your fantasy and chances are he will be willing to try it.

Can my boyfriend have multiple orgasms?

Yes! Just do what I did. Keep on pumping away, ignore his pleas and eventually, he will cum again and again. On the first try, I would only do this twice, a maximum of three times as it is intense.

Do men prefer blowjobs over handjobs?

It’s all down to your man and what he prefers, blowjobs are more intimate but if you follow all of my steps you can give him one of the best blowjobs ever and he may become a convert. It all feels good, just be enthusiastic, confident, and willing to learn.

Would you let your boyfriend watch porn while you give him a handjob?

If that’s something he was looking into doing, I would definitely let it happen. Me and my boyfriend don’t want much porn (aside from Erika Lust, we love her) but if he asked if he could watch porn whilst I pleasure him I would be more than happy.

I want to dominate my man and not stop once he has cum, will this hurt him?

It will feel uncomfortable for him but you must not stop or change speeds, just keep on going. Ask him beforehand if it’s something he would be willing to try and just go for it. It won’t hurt so long as you use lube to stop friction and know when to actually stop giving him a handjob.

hand domination guide pinterest image

6 thoughts on “How I dominate my boyfriends penis with my hands”

  1. Very good article I plan to share with my girlfriend

    • So glad you enjoyed it! I hope your girlfriend likes it too 🙂

  2. i like my coronal ridge rubbed

  3. i like it slow

  4. I’m 31 years old and up until this point, I had the impression that hj’s were simply a “stepping stone” in high school to reach the next “base”. thank you for this article, it has helped tremendously in realizing and being mindful of the misconception I had previously and canal use your article and apply it to enhance my intimate life even further! Thank you again!

  5. I have found that, it’s always hotter when I have to ask for permission to cum (while receiving a handjob). The more she makes me wait, the more turned on I get. I especially love it when I get to the point where she’ll ask me, “How bad do you want to cum?” and I usually tell her, “Oh, I’ll do anything. PLEASE?” At this point, this is when she’ll usually demand that I do something kinky like, “I’ll let you cum on one condition. You have to eat your cum” By this time, I always say “OK”.
    I often fantasize that she’ll demand that I fulfill one of her sexual fantasies. The one where she wants to see a guy (me) suck another guy off. I love the idea of a woman demanding that I do something wild or kinky (like that) just for permission to cum.

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