As you may have read in my article about my BDSM collection, I am a fan of getting kinky in the bedroom, you may also have deduced this from the name of my site!
Getting spanked, whipped, restrained, and fucked is something that turns me on almost instantly, I find all sorts of different types of bondage play fun, and experimenting and trying new things in the bedroom is important to me as I like to keep things fresh and exciting. (Check out my at-home BDSM ideas by clicking here). Something I have only just incorporated into my love life is using a ball gag.
Using a gag may not seem like a revelation to a lot of my readers but it was to me. It was just something I had failed to incorporate into bondage play.
I had seen them before, of course, I had and I even had some in my toy collection but I had never really used them to their full potential or invested in a high-quality gag. I didn’t realize that there was so much to be had with a gag ball and during bondage/BDSM play I didn’t realize just how much fun they were.
Things changed the day I really understood how to properly work with and use my gag and today is going to be all about sharing that information with you. How gags can make bondage sex even better is revolutionary, you wouldn’t believe how simple they are to use and just how sexy they look once secured in place.
What Is A Ball Gag?
It’s a small ball that you insert into your mouth secured by a strap that is around your head. The person wearing the gag is normally the submissive, usually, these types of accessories are used during bondage and BDSM play. People use gags for erotic pleasure, it can increase the submissive’s sense of helplessness hindering them unable to speak, it can sometimes deprive the wearer of a small amount of oxygen which is considered an erotic act, it is an extremely sexual image for some people and there are countless other reasons people wear these types of toys.
Before we begin I wanted to make you aware of my secret membership. It’s filled with erotic stories, user-submitted content and you even get my erotic book for free.
The Ball Gag That I bought:
I invested in this ball gag after watching a porno, the woman starring in this particular porn film was gagged and bound but the way it was filmed was tasteful, not hardcore or extreme like some of these porn movies that we see. The director captured something so real between the couple that really got me thinking about gags and whether or not I should actually try one out. It was an Erica Lust film that I watched, she is arguably one of the best porn directors in the industry, she has a great ethos, and her films are a cut above the rest of the porn industry. Her film really got me thinking and it set an idea if my mind about how I could take my boyfriend and I’s bondage routine to a new level and using a gag just seemed like an easy option to explore.
After finishing myself off with my bullet vibrator I decided to browse for a gag similar to the one the woman in this porno was wearing and not too long later, I found one that was extremely similar.
My gag is an open-mouth gag and it has an adjustable silicone strap ( as well as being a silicone ball) that can fit happily around most head sizes, breathable air holes inside the gag itself and it is also compatible with chains and leads so you can add accessories to it, depending on what you enjoy in the bedroom. Maybe you’re a little puppy being walked around on its lead, or perhaps you are a submissive partner who enjoys the thrill of being bound and restrained, whatever you enjoy this gag makes it possible. It’s also not one of the most extreme restraints so it’s not very intimidating, especially to bondage newbies.
It’s really comfortable to wear as it is velvet-smooth so it doesn’t irritate the skin around your face, which some cheaper gags can actually do. It’s also made from silicone (silicone gags are the best), it’s odorless, tasteless, and hypoallergenic so you can be sure of its safety and your total comfort throughout wear.
Something that really intrigued me when I first bought it was that it was lockable so that when you choose the buckle that works best for you, you can then take advantage of the lockable feature which ensures maximum restraint and submission and it feels really kinky when wearing it.
How I Used This Ball Gag
- It arrived discreetly and quickly from the sex toy online store that I buy all of my toys from. They are discreet, have an amazing choice of products, and their sex toys never let me down. Once it arrived, I opened the box and began googling all of the cool scenarios and things other people had done with their ball gags. When I got it out of the box I felt how soft it was, I felt the silicone ball, the breathing holes, and all of the buckles and I thought to myself how thanks to its appearance ball gags have a bad reputation for being uncomfy but this was not going to be the case with this one.
- I saw online that the best way to get the most out of your ball gag was to try out other methods of BDSM restraints too, I talk more about these further on below but it’s important to note that using other forms of restraint will enhance your gag experience and make things a hell of a lot kinkier.
- At first, I tried out my new ball gag when I was alone, I had read on the reviews that it can be tricky to get the buckle fastened without any help but I actually found no issues with fastening it and getting it comfortable. I would suggest for everyone to know exactly how to get it on and off before engaging in any sexual activity as not only will it allow you to not be brought out of the moment but it is also for your safety.
- Because I was going to be adventuring into a kinky world of BDSM, my boyfriend and I decided we would have a signal for if things got too much (since I couldn’t speak with a gag in). I always make sure to have a safe word but as this isn’t possible when you’re ball gagged, a signal seemed like the next best thing. We decided just three simple taps on the bed or the other person was going to be the signal to stop what you were doing. We haven’t needed to use our signal yet but it’s good to have that peace of mind for your safety and comfort.
Best Sex Positions To Use With A Ball Gag
It’s best not to have your nose constricted when using a ball gag, with mine there are air holes but when you’re panting and moaning I don’t find it particularly fun to be limited with my breathing so I like to stick to these sex positions below. Some people, of course, enjoy the breathing restriction side of things (erotic asphyxiation) but I definitely don’t and if you’re new to bondage I suggest easing yourself in first, playing with someone you trust, and always, always having a signal or safeword.
These are the positions I most frequently do when using a gag:
- Missionary
- Doggy style
- Cowgirl
- Reverse cowgirl
- Standing Up/Against A Wall
- Plus, Oral sex is great
Get creative with your positions, do what works for you and your partner, you may find you don’t like using a gag during sex at all and only enjoy using it during foreplay, you may find new kinks and fetishes from playing with it and you may find a position that just makes everything come together. Just remember to play safe and enjoy yourself.
How To Use A Ball Gag Effectively
They are really simple to use but I am going to give you advice on using the ball gag that I own too (the one above).
Firstly, you’re going to want to put the ball into your mouth and then securely fasten the strap around your head, you don’t need to buckle it just yet, just see what feels comfortable, you don’t want it to be pulling or pinching at the skin.
Once you have the desired tightness, secure it in place with the buckle and that’s it!
You may find you have tightened it too much and it may feel a little uncomfortable or too loose in which case you may find it falls down or you find yourself biting down onto the silicone ball. However, once you get the hang of it, you will know which buckle hole suits you best.
Other Methods Of Restraint That Make Bondage Sex Better
Using just the ball gag alone is fine but there are simple things you can use to improve your sex life and even make it a little kinkier. I use an array of sex toys to make me feel like a BDSM master and below I am going to show you all of those accessories that I use to enhance the fun and really put some clear lines between the dominant and submissive. Some of these products are a little more intense than the others but all can be used by amateurs and bondage professionals alike.
The first thing I wanted to mention was these under the bed restraints, I LOVE these restraints, they are so easy to use, really comfortable and I actually found them to be better quality and have lasted me a lot longer than my more expensive restraints.
The straps are velcro fastening and they allow you to securely fasten your wrists and ankles with ease, it’s a great way to dip your toes into some BDSM and experience submission and control. You may choose to lay flat on your back with your ankles and wrists secured whilst your mouth is gagged or you may choose to just restrain your wrists whilst you stay on your knees, whatever you choose, it’s sexy and fun.
These ankle cuffs are a great restraint method during BDSM play. They are made from high-quality materials which means they can withstand a good amount of force and thanks to the buckle they can accommodate most ankles so they are unisex which is something that is important to couples who like to switch roles every now and again.
Use these ankle cuffs paired with the ball gag and submit to your partner, do as they say, and feel sexy and kinky as you use ankle cuffs during your lovemaking.
Using a blindfold gives you a heightened sensory response so anything your partner may do to you when you do have your eyes covered will feel amazing.
I talked about my experience when using a blindfold during a fake threesome in this article. I mentioned how my boyfriend made it feel like there was a different man fucking me and I was so confused about how he did it.
These satin-feel blindfolds feel incredibly soft on the skin and you can see absolutely nothing through either of these blindfolds when they are covering your eyes.
Although inexpensive in comparison to other collars and leads, this particular collar is one of my favorites. It hasn’t let me down yet, it’s incredibly soft to the touch and it’s made from faux fur.
It fits most neck sizes and feels wonderful around your neck and to pull with the lead. Pair this lead with the ball gag and blindfold and just watch the kinky unfold into both you and your partner. This collar and lead is so sexy, it’s a must-have when pairing with my ball gag, especially if you enjoy being the naughty little sub.
How Did Using A Ball Gag Make Sex Better (Are They Effective?)
Using a ball gag made a lot of changes to our sex life, in ways that I didn’t think were even possible. When I first tried a ball gag I assumed it would feel fun and a little bit kinky but I didn’t think it would do what it did.
Using a ball gag made me really appreciate the dom and sub roles, as I mentioned before, me and my boyfriend are kinky but we don’t always just have one who submits and one who dominates, we constantly change roles but when I was using the ball gag it felt as if I HAD to behave.
I felt as if when the ball gag was in I was a total slave and my boyfriend was in total control.
At one point my boyfriend put me on my hands and knees, used my favorite bullet vibrator on my clitoris, and then fuck me, and having the ball gag in my mouth just made me want to moan louder and louder.
There’s something about being restricted via your mouth that just feels so sexy, it turns me into a total sex freak.
Overall, I would say that using a ball gag made my sex better because it allowed me to really let go and allowed me to experience submission and dominance on a whole new level.
The ball gag makes me want to scream out and moan at the top of my lungs (I think because of the restrictiveness), it makes me want to submit, it’s a new level of BDSM and kink that I am so glad I experienced sooner rather than later.
How To Get Comfortable With A Ball Gag
#1. I wasn’t sure if a ball gag would be for me…
I am not too comfortable with having my breathing constricted but after watching the porn film I mentioned at the start of this article, I knew I had to give it a try. My ball gag comes with air holes so although breathing is slightly restricted it does give you that peace of mind that actually you can breathe. If you’re not sure if you can get comfortable with your ball gag, try putting it on and off and breathing with it on before sex and you will see how easy it actually is.
#2. Talk to your partner beforehand about what you like and don’t like…
Make a code word or a code gesture that means you want them to stop or slow down with what they are doing. Using a ball gag doesn’t have to get THAT kinky (to the point where you may need to use your code gesture) but losing the ability to talk is always going to happen and it helps if you have a code gesture just to be on the safe side.
#3. When fastening the ball gag make sure it is tight enough
I briefly mentioned this earlier on in this article, ensuring you get to grips with your gag before wearing it with a partner in the bedroom is a great idea. Learn if it’s too tight, not tight enough, and even wear it for a little while so that you can get used to wearing it and seeing if prolonged periods of time wearing it is for you or not.
Should I Buy A Ball Gag?
If you’re anything like me then yes. It makes BDSM-inspired sex so much more naughty, it makes me feel so sexy, it allowed me and my boyfriend to both explore submission and dominance on a whole new level.
It made me so horny to play with and I know it turned my boyfriend on just by watching me and the visuals of me with the ball gag in my mouth, which is what I know a lot of people saying about them.
The ball gag I love is often out of stock so if you do see it in stock make sure to take advantage as it does go off the shelves quite quickly.
If you have any questions about anything that I have mentioned please leave them in the comments below and I will get back to you instantly.
Jess <3 <3
I’m Jess and I’m a woman in my twenties. I created this blog to share my sexual experiences along with the experiences of people from all walks of life. I am actually quite introverted, but my boyfriend and I have a semi-open relationship and it’s really helped me open up and experience things I never thought I would and that’s one of the biggest reasons I created this. I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I enjoy writing for it. Read more about me.
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